It's just a PAST for you???

You'll never know how upset am I after you left me...
You suddenly called me out for some matter...
I was really scared to see you... I'm seriously scared of your expression, your voice, even your face...
I'm scared that you'll say something that really hurts me again...
We are really good friends since secondary school...
Even a few people asked me whether you are in love with me or why I care so much about you...
I admit that I really care too much about you... Sometimes, I think that I've think too much coz of you...
Others won't know how good we used to be except us... But now, you seems don't care about our friendship anymore...
You asked me to let it go... past just let it past... ask me not to upset, must be strong enough...
I know that I have to... But it's pretty not easy...
May be I'm not a good friend... I seldom contact you yet didn't know what's happening to you throughout this few years...
I was not there with you when you're sad... and didn't share your happiness with you...
May be you have had a really good friend beside you, who can go through everything together with you when I'm not there with you...
Sometimes, I'm just jealous of your friendship with her...
By the way, I still believe that you call me out is for a good reason, although I know that you wont be friends with me anymore...
But, please....don't disappoint me... I'll feel desperate after all...
Will it be our last meet???