累了

我已累了
在这现实社会里生活着
我真的累了
我早就知道
现实就是残酷的
可是还是被它一一打败
一次又一次受伤害
我真的好累
我们得不到的东西
往往都是最美好的
一旦拥有了
就想轻易放弃
一旦失去了
才懂得珍惜
真的是这样吗
说着说着
我好像又回到了原点
我真的不想再次重演
只是想回到原始的我

I'm here

Don't worry,my friend..
I knew it's not worth at all...
That's why when i heard about this,
I don't have any feels...curious
If it's not belongs to us, it will never be...
same as you...
I knew that you have been suffered a lot in the past...
I really hope that you could let all of these stay far far away from your life
No point to stay at the same place,
to dream for a person which you know he won't come back to you anymore
Just let him go, far far away from you...

I knew he is going off from Malaysia soon..
I knew that you feel like wanna say farewell to him on that day where he is going to leave
Although I hope that you could join us,
But I don't want to influence your decision...
Just go ahead...
No matter what's your decision at the end,
I hope that it's from your heart, k??
Don't let yourself regret..
There is only a chance for you, also the last chance at the same time...
I'm here to wait for your answer ya =)
You said that seems all people around you going to leave
But don't you ever forget,
I'm still here for you...
Even we can't meet very often,
I'm still by your side...
Accompanying you to start it all over again...
Stay cheerful and strong!! =)

Fright ~

Today I saw a 变态老while I was having my meal at McD =.=
This was not the 1st time for this guy to come into McD...
Dear and I have made a complaint at the counter...
We really hope that McD will take an immediate action if that guy existed in McD again so that all the customers can have a comfortable yet a peace situation while having their meals or to study there...lolx
I hope I would not meet that guy again~~
Scary~~~

害怕

在我的日记簿里
充满着种种的回忆
甜甜的
酸酸的
每次拿起笔
想写下我当时的心情时
总是需要很大的勇气
因为我发现我所写的
正好和现实中相反
甜甜的到最后都会变成酸酸的
我害怕错过更害怕失去

Can't You???

I straight away went into popo's room once I reached aunty's house..
I walked closer to her
I called her and told her that I were there for 3 days
She replied me with a little smile =)

She was laying on her bed for the whole day except going to bathroom coz she cant walk anymore..not even able to take a few steps
The only transport for her is just the wheel chair
She looked weaker and weaker when time passed
Every time when she wana go to toilet, she had to get an aid from kakak
It's not convenient for her to travel all the way through the hall, dining hall and kitchen before reaching toilet

Aunty told me that we had to solve this inconvenience
We must let popo to have a matong which attached to the wheel chair, so that it's more convenient for her
But, the problem is another aunty were not allow us to do so
When my cousin brought the matong wheelchair there, you asked her to bring it back to her home..

Why not you just let my popo to have it yet it was ready for her to use, no need you to buy it
We heard from kakak that you said it's smelly if popo settled her business in her room
But, it's not correct to say so, coz kakak can wash the matong after popo settled everything
I really don't understand...
can't you just tahan for 6 months before popo switch to other places???
popo getting older an older
Can't you just let her to have a comfortable yet a convenient life in this unwilling situation???

But, I know that we can't blame you oso coz you have your own right since popo are staying with you now
I stayed there for three days..every time popo pressed the emergency button, kakak was busying with the kitchen work, there was no one come to her aid
you were busy with your business, uncle was not around and cousins were playing around
I was wondering whether popo being neglected when aunty n I are not there;
wondering whether all of you go into popo's room to see her at least once a day or not

Furthermore, popo's skin was ruined coz of the pampers that she are wearing for 24 hours!!
It had started to bleed.. I'm sure you feels very pain
Me n aunty walked to the pharmacy to buy medical cream for you, hope it's effective

I felt pain in my heart seeing my popo's situations
My aunty cried when chatting with me...
She said to me that she felt that only me n my sis care about popo all the while among all popo's grandsons and daughters
I was happy to hear that but I felt that I'm not that good to take care of popo also
I felt sad after all...

Anyway, I really hope that at least I can take care of her needs when I see her again...
popo,take care ya...
I'll go to visit you again if my dady planned to go back this weekends...

I need your trust

Actually, I don't like to have quarrels with you
But what I've said to you that day was just what I think of you
Why can't you just trust me??? Just a little bit will do..
I admit that I kept all secret from you last time
but, not now anymore
Sometimes, I'm trying hard to have a good communication with you
to share everything to you
but I know it's difficult
I really don't know what's the problem now
is that you worry too much about me??
or I can't let you to have the trust on me??
Please let me know if there is anything that you are not satisfy with me
I would like to know about this
I did nothing wrong for choosing to go for a visit
I was just felt like going out to relax
there was nothing else
I'll behave myself
please...
I need your trust, dady...

CheeSe Cake ^^

Me n sis have made a cheese cake after our dinner..

It has been about half a year we didn't update our cake skills...lolx

She saw a cookie and cream cheese cake recipe from a cake magazine..

All the while, I don't eat CHEESE cake at all!! Not even try to touch it..

But,I felt like wanna work out together with my sis to make a cake @@

So, we have started making it!!! haha..

We've taken some pic during the cake making process!!

Egg yolk being separated from egg white

I look so aunty =.="

A funny face...haha =D

Beat the mixture until smooth

Lovely sis beating the mixture..she beat it seriously XD

It's ready to go into the oven for half an hour

before being put into the fridge!! xp

It's ready to be eaten by me n sis!!! =P

(pieces of oreo being placed on top of the cheese cake)

It was the 1st time making a cheese cake together with sis!!

I've decided to have a try on this CHEESE cake!!

Although its outlook didn't look appetitive, the taste was quite good ^^

Our mistake : It needed a longer time to bake in the oven coz it's too soft in the middle part of the cake..lolx.....

I wish we could take this as a lesson and make a better cake next time!!!! Waiting for the next cake!!! hoho~ c.'')

COSMIC

Nowadays, I've read a few COSMIC, which is a Buddhism magazine but it is mainly on guidelines in our daily lives...

Long time ago, my frens were asking me to have a look at this COSMIC, but i just listened and forgotten about it

But now, I was being attracted to this magazine!! =.=

One of them that really guides me is that the COSMIC about WHAT IS LOVE...It can be love in a relationship, between families and frens.. But in this topic, it is mainly talking about being in a relationship

"To LIVE IN LOVE is to LIVE IN LIFE, and to LIVE IN LIFE is to LIVE IN LOVE"
(Leo Buscaglia,American professor and author)
It's true!! Once there is love among humans in lives, we would have the compassionate to live in peace but not to fall into immoral activities which our societies had now!!

When getting into a relationship, we will always think of "he completes me" or "he finishes off my sentence" or even "he is my other half"...But, "nobody completes ourselves except ourselves"!!

LOVE
can be Sweet
can be Happy
can be Fulfilling
can be Comfortable
but
can be Sour
can be Sad
can be Torture
can be Heart Broken

Whatever feelings it could be, we are totally responsible for our own Happiness and Sorrows...Even if it's heart broken, we must use our wounds as growth and not let the wounds use us..Our wounds act like shadows which hide in the darkness in our heart...Wound, is a good guidance and experience for all of us... That's what I've learned from COSMIC =)

Some take relationships as an experience, some as accompaniment while some as satisfactions...COSMIC highlighted that "Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but looking together in the same direction"... It's to set a target and to accomplish it together in the coming future...That's the whole process for bringing up a successful relationship...

That' some of my opinions stated above based on COSMIC's guidelines...

Q and A section (answered by some readers)

In your opinion, what is a healthy relationship???

-One stated that "It is a relationship where one continue exploring, learning and maturing in taking one's life"

-Another one said that "A healthy relationship is one which allows us to stay true to who we are. It is a relationship which allows us to voice out and share our opinions, and allows both persons to have heart-to-heart dialogues on anything"

Anyway, one must be happy with one's decision and it's never too much to ask the best for ourselves!!

So, what does love meant to you???

19th

19th bday, I had a wonderful bday that I ever had before!! Lots of surprises came continuously throughout this pleasant day!!

Bday eve

At 11 something on 4th Nov, while I was ironing clothes in guest room, sis suddenly knocked at the door.. When I turned to the back, I saw familiar look… that’s my DEAR !!!!! She was standing outside the room!!! Wah~ I felt so surprised till I shouted out loudly and hugged her!!! =)

I was so happy that she was here with me before 12am!! I never think of she’ll come to my house cz she didn’t mention about it at all!! All of my family members knew that she’ll come to stay one night, except me!!! Wow!! What a big surprise for me!!! So touch~

She presented me a handmade bday card and a Padini shirt !! It was the shirt that I wanted to buy few months ago but I think it’s too expensive so I didn’t buy it!!! She knew that I love it very much, so she searched for S size for me, but it was already out of stock in Ipoh… The promoter called KL branch to ask for the stock!!! So, the shirt came all the way from KL to my hand @@ haha…

designed by DEAR

Inner part of the card

Real thanks to her !!! How nice to have her as my dear…hehe ^^ Sharp on 12am, I received a call from Wen Chiao.. haha.. He was the FIRSTone who called to wish me… I chat and laughed so loudly in the call… omg~ my first impression has spoilt!!! T.T lolx… After that, my dear and I chat till 3am only we went into our dream that night…

Lunch time


On my bday in the afternoon, my dear fetched me to Parade to meet my lao gong for lunch as my bday celebration… After dropping me, she proceeded to Jusco to watch HSM3 with my sis for the 3rd time -.-"

I was replying fren’s message via hand phone while I stepped into the shopping complex… Then, there was a guy who was working there said “hi” to me with a “friendly smile”… I looked up to him and continued my message typing, didn’t bother him…

But then, when I walked pass him, He shouted at me loudly using Cantonese “ yi ga zou mie wo!! yan dei tong lei say hi jek mah!! hou leng mie yi ga!!! ” All of his colleagues and the customers were looking at me!!!! I was very shocked that he shouted at me!!!! I was so angry!!! I just turned back and stared at him, then went up 1st floor using escalator…

I was thinking that it was not compulsory for me to say “hi” to you yet you are just a silly stranger!!! You are not my fren right!! Why should I say “hi” back to you??? I knew he thought that I was not giving him face to reply him!!! Really speechless…Suddenly, I felt that I’ve lost my confidence after his last shout… I found a seat and sat there, thinking back what he has shouted at me… don’t know why, I don’t feel like seeing anyone else that time except my self-confidence… but I can’t find it… I looked down and sat alone on the seat for quite a long time…

Where is my confidence which I had all the while??? I can’t find the answer that I want on that moment… don’t know why I just lost my confidence because of his words… He had influenced me…

I walked to mcD to wait for my lao gong… But when I saw her, I felt much better and I had my confidence back again…lolx… I told her that I’ve met a stupid guy… I can’t control my tears from dropping out but I stopped it immediately… She was so angry that thinking of going to Parade to scold him… She was still the same as before, like to protect me once I get into trouble… Anyway, I appreciated it… After our chat, we had lunch at Brewsterlane cafe…

We ordered 1 plate of Japanese style chicken and pork chop each and a green tea ice-cream besides drinks … We can’t stop chatting cz we didn’t meet each other for a long time… We talked about what had happened recently in our lives… Had a wonderful time with her !!

Lao gong n I !! =)

Japanese Sytle pork and chicken Chop!! It's SOUR~~ >.<

Green Tea ice-cream ordered by lao gong!! so tasty~!! ^^

After our lunch, she accompanied me to wait for a bus to go back home… After I had my seat on the bus, the ticket checker came to me, she said that the bus was not passing by my staying place… OMG!! I don’t care at all, cz my dear was waiting for me at home… The ticket checker didn’t take any money from me @@ This was the first time I had a free bus ride!!! It was a bday present for me!!! Thank you aunty!! Hoho~ =P

Dinner time

My dear, sis and I had planned to have dinner in Horoscope Café… But, when my dear parked in front of that café, we found that there was a sign board “To Let” sticks on the door… Alamak~!! We laughed loudly together!! Luckily we were not standing in front of that café only we realized that!! Haha!!

So, we changed our plan to Momo café… We ordered Set Diner(dear), Yee Mee(sis) and Singaporean Bihun(me).. What a big plate of food they given to us… We took some photos ^^

Lovely Sis n I =)

Pris and Sis =)

A big KISS from dear -^^-

While we were chatting, my dear received a call and walked out from the cafe immediately… I was wondering why she was using mandarin to speak with her fren since she often use Cantonese -.-"

I got the answer after she sat back on her seat!! My sis poked me, and I turned my face to her, I saw ah muk standing beside my sis!!! WOW~!! Really frightened me!!! I almost jumped off from my chair!!! He didn’t mention that he’ll come to find me at all!!! I was so SURPRISE yet happy seeing him cz I thought that I don’t have the chance to see anyone of my Uni frens on my bday!!!

My dear and my sis laughed!!! They’ve pakat together!! They stole ah muk’s hp number from my hp contact list (>.<) to ask him whether he was coming to celebrate with me or not *.* He presented me a present and a bday card with those stupid wishes!! Ish!! Anyway, I like the present =P He drove off after a few minutes…

Then, I received a call from abo… I saw her walking in the café few minutes after her call!! Another surprise before my bday ended!!! Yey~!! =)

Back to home… I celebrated my bday together with my lovely dady cz his bday is the next day of mine…1st time celebrated with him!! We had our bday cake!! Almond cake bought by mamy ^^ We made our wishes and blew off the candles together!! Sounds funny.. haha =D

Almond cake from mamy...YummY~ ^^

Lovely Dady and I cutting our cake!! haha =D

p/s : Thanks to

Dear Sis and Pris for all of your surprises, presents and accompanied

Lao gong for the lunch and everything

Jeff for your cd and bday song (don’t tiong me ah =X I just help you to promote your bee~ sound =P )

Choon Hooi for your bday card (actually I’ve opened it before my bday..can’t wait..hehe..paiseh -^^-)

Lim for your wonderful comic

Wen Chiao for wishing me in time (laugh~!!)

Wei Leng for your present

Ah muk , juju, abo for your surprises and presents

Huang pey, Swen, my senior (ks), housemates, AV3 gang, camp frens, all my dear frens which contributed in my bday!!!

Appreciate all of them much!!! THANKS!!!

<3 ya ^-^

finally~~ I've finished writing this blog... phew~!! haha

回篇

我
并没有你想象中那么幸福
更没有你想象的那么快乐

你
留给我的遗憾
我
已数不清

我
为了让你好过些
隐瞒着你

你
送的神秘礼物
已破了个小洞
这就是所谓的缺陷美吧

你说
你不后悔离开
因为我比以前幸福了
我想说
你再为她执着下去
不会得到幸福的

感谢你让我不断成长
让我更坚强
让我懂得什么才叫着真正的《幸福快乐》
让我找回了我自己

不用操心
因为我过得比以前好
比以前快乐
比以前更懂得珍惜

<谢谢你>

从邮差手中
收下了你从远方送来的包裹
脸上不禁露出了笑容
还好当时没有人在家 >.<
要不，家人会认为我sot了
脸有没有红，这我就不懂
来不及照镜子 =P
坐在laptop前呆了很久
真的太surprise了！！
我真的没想到会是你送来的
虽然心疼那盒子的不成形
但还是谢谢你，真的很感动 T.T
好久没有这种感觉了
这还是我第一次用华语写blog
总觉得这blog用华语写会比较顺吧
虽然有点怪怪的 -.-
呆的时间也结束了
打开箱子，一只母牛就躺在那
整系列的牛仔，还真的把我吓坏了
哈哈
谢谢你的cow set哦！！
好可爱的一个 Cow pencil sharpener
一只你也觉得怪怪的 Cow soft toy =P
加上一张不懂该怎么形容的 Cow’s bday card
不把我吓坏都假啦 ~
哈哈
最让我珍惜的是 – 我们的合照（虽然不是真的啦 ）
但，却无意中打动了我的心 =X
还真的很佩服你的人像画
画得挺像的
超喜欢那富有心思的画
有了那张合照，也不再让我觉得遗憾了
呵呵 … …
不过，最惊人的还是那张巨大的card
一打开罢了，我的眼睛也瞪大了！！（还好眼镜没跌下）
整张填满了我们辛辛苦苦拼回来的 <54>
都是大家的心血哦~
这小小的拼图
还真的需要我们大大的努力去拼成
最终，拼图里的图画是否会像合照里的一样，
那将会被填满的一百个******里是否会藏有那一句
我也不晓得
就这样，花了蛮长的时间把它们读完（华语不是很好嘛）
边读边大笑，你写到很搞笑咧 …
逗得我还真开心的
想告诉你，你终于成功tam到我了
嘻嘻 ^^
就如你所说的，“为了不让第九条成立… …”
你还得加油加油哦
哈哈 =D
至于卡的结尾
我们也谈了
就等时间的答复吧
哈哈 ^^
还有，谢谢你那美丽的自制
的确是变形了，但我也把它们变回原状了
我还是第一次收到那么含有意义且多份的礼物 @.@
渐渐的洋溢着幸福的感觉
幸福的笑容
除了谢谢，还是那句
<谢谢你>
=)

Teh = my killer

I can't even sleep for an hour last night T.T
I'v drank a cup of teh ice during Swen's bday celebration... I felt like wana drink teh on that time and I tought it would not be a problem for me to drink it...
but it end up... oh no..........
I was awaked the whole night where all of my family members had slept..
I tried my very best to sleep, but still I didn't feel tired at all
I was suffering the whole night for not sleeping...
It was a good experience for me...
I think i may scare of drinkin teh at night again...haha

SWEN's Steamboat celebration

Today is my old old fren, Swen's bday.. I knew her since primary school and we moved on to secondary school...She is currently studying in Ktar kampar, next to my uni, Utar..hehe

Participants of Steamboat celebration
1 Swen - old old good sis (birthday "yeng" girl)
2 Yann - a pretty, sweet girl
3 Shin - big, funny yet silly sis
4 Pui - small, funny sis
5 Ting - a good cake maker
6 Har - a cute, cheerful girl
7 Me - the smallest size only in this gang.. erhem

4 of us reached there at about 7.30pm followed by Thing and Har... Thing brought her homemade Blueberry Chocolate Cake and stored inside the fridge without noticing by Swen..hehe..But Swen also brought a love-shaped ice-cream cake from Baskin-Robbins!!

Ting's Handmade Blueberry Chocolate Cake =)

Love-shaped Ice-cream Cake from Baskin-Robbins ^^

We ate and chat happily...After a few more rounds of eating, Thing taken out her Blueberry cake and Swen's too... Wow~ 2 cakes being taken out together from the kitchen...Swen was sooooo surprise of the presence of Thing's cake... This was Thing's 1st time making a bday cake for her fren...That's really nice of her...envy la >.<

We sang 3languages of bday songs to Swen - eng, mandarin, kantonese, as loud as we could and this has grabbed the other customers' attention...quite paiseh de la... but we didn't care much!! As long as we enjoyed it what...haha

Swen looked so happy!! I'm happy to see that scene oso...lolx.. Swen drove me back home.. While reaching home, I presented her a bday present - a red, cartoon coin box..hahaha..Hope that she'l like it... I received a present form her too.. We sounds like exchanging presents larr....lOlx

Anyway, we had an enjoyable steamboat celebration !!! ^^Y